


Can puns cause impeachment?

by midnightdrops



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Steven's Birthday, basically they talk about their future, it's just some general cuteness, it's not really much of a relationship fic, prequel to "Steven's Birthday", puns, there's no actual plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:05:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightdrops/pseuds/midnightdrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven and Connie talk about their futures. Silliness ensues. Prequel to "Steven's Birthday".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can puns cause impeachment?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mermaidforeachother](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermaidforeachother/gifts).



> For Liz, who wanted more “Steven/Connie talking about their future” fic after “Steven’s Birthday” aired - there can never be too much fanfic! Steven seemed 100% sure that Connie was going to become president when they were older, so we figured that they most likely discussed this before Steven’s Birthday.
> 
> HAPPY [belated] BIRTHDAY, LIZ ♥ You’re such a great friend, and tbh I’m so glad I met you, regardless of how long it took for us to start talking (‘:

 

“Do you ever think about the future?” 

Steven glanced up at his friend, who was carefully placing her violin back into the instrument case. He turned back to frown at the crispy biscuit in his hands, eyebrows furrowed. 

“I think I’m too preoccupied thinking about this biscuit right now,” he replied, “I think there’s too much jam on it!”

Connie rolled her dark eyes and closed the black instrument case. She plopped down next to Steven on the red checkered picnic blanket and leaned over, inspecting the food in his hands. 

“Hm, it seems like there is a 2:1 jam-to-biscuit ratio,” she “tsk”ed, waving her finger, “How disappointing, Sir Universe.”

Steven giggled and put the biscuit in his friend's hands, pulling out a new biscuit and spreading jam on it. Connie watched him as he prepared his snack, taking a bite of her own. “I’m serious, though,” she laid back onto the blanket, staring up at the cloudy sky, “In school we’re asked every year what we want to be when we’re older, but my answer seems to change every time.”

“Hmm,” Steven laid down next to her, munching on his biscuit, a few crumbs falling onto his red shirt, “You should be a sword fighter! You could fight with me and the Gems when we go on missions.”

“Yeah!” Connie laughed and turned to her friend, poking his side. “That doesn’t exactly pay, though, Steven.”

“Oh,” Steven nodded, glancing down at the sand, “Right.”

“Not that I wouldn’t want to come, though!” Connie shook her hands, noticing his downcast look, “I think it would be super fun! I just want a job where I can earn money, support my parents so they don’t have to overwork themselves.” 

Steven sat up, propping his elbows up on his knees, gesturing for her to go on. 

“Also, I can take good care of my kids - get them into a great child care center, send them to a college they want to go to - and of course, so that my husband doesn’t have to do all the work!”

Steven stared, starry-eyed as Connie talked, listening intently. “Wow...what kind of job would do all that?”

“I dunno, just something that consists of doing something I like?” Connie shrugged, licking the last of the jam biscuit off of her fingers. She extended her legs into the sand, her bare feet and ends of her overalls covered in sand. “What about you?”

“I’m not sure,” Steven looked out at the empty beach, watching the ocean waves crashing against the wet sand, “I always figured I’d be helping out the Gems on their missions and stuff, just being with them, Dad,” he glanced at Connie with a small smile, “and you.”

The taller of the two smiled, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. “I always imagined my future with you, too.” 

A soft whirl of wind surrounded the two friends, causing the blanket to quiver slightly. The sun shone brightly despite the myriad of clouds that decorated the sky, and the sound of the beach waves and seagulls filled the silence. Steven let out a small, sudden gasp, his expression excited. 

“When you become like a huge, important person in a business, Lion and I can be like your bodyguards!”

Connie raised an eyebrow. “A ‘huge, important person in business’?”

“Yeah! The bad guys will be your enemies!” Steven stood up on the picnic blanket, posing dramatically and extending his arms, “But Ms. Maheswaran and Mr. Universe will defeat them together! With their dynamic duo of a sword and a shield!”

Connie laughed and stood up, bending her knees and mock-frowning at him. “They’ll be running for the hills as we…” she extended her hand into a fist, punching the air, “...attack them with our super cool powers!”

“Yeah!!” Steven agreed, kicking his leg up in the air, causing his flipflop to fly off his foot. “Just like Lisa and Archimicarus!”

“Pow!” Connie grasped her hands together, moving them from side to side in the air. “You’re no match for my sword!”

“Yah!” the Gem flexed his arm, pulling it towards his chest, “Or my shield!”

The two friends continued jumping around on the beach, laughing and running as they attacked pretend monsters. Steven was eventually the first to sit back down on the picnic blanket, beads of sweat rolling down the side of his face. He reached over to the picnic basket and started rummaging through it as Connie sat down next to him.

“And once the evil has been defeated,” he pulled out a small juice box, handing it to her, “It’s time for a refreshing refreshment.”

“‘Refreshing refreshment’?” Connie laughed, taking it from him, “You should be a poet, or a writer.”

“Yeah! Like the author of the  _ Spirit Morph Saga!” _ Steven took out another juice box for himself. “What would I write about, though?” 

“Hmm,” Connie thought aloud as Steven sucked noisily on the straw, “You could write about your adventures with the Gems.” She smiled at her friend. “I bet people would love to read those.”

“Mmm.” Steven simply nodded, still drinking his juice.  _ ‘But what would Connie do?’ _ His eyebrows furrowed in thought, and Connie flinched slightly. 

“Steven? Are you o--”

“I’ve  _ got it!” _ The Gem stood up suddenly, smacking his hand with his fist. “You should become president!”

His friend blinked in surprise, setting her juice down. “President??”

“Yeah!!” Steven nodded, proud of his idea. “You could be the president of the country!!”

Connie didn’t respond - she continued to stare at her magical friend, whose huge grin turned into a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“....president??” The taller of the two repeated. 

“I mean, it makes sense, right?” Steven turned, pacing on the sand, “You’re very smart, and you’d make a lot of money that way, so your parents would be happy. You’d be happy too, since you’d be this huge awesome authority figure! Lion and I would be there too!”

Connie flushed slightly, but smiled. She stood up and nodded, her expression meeting the same level of excitement. “You could be First Man! We’d be in charge of the country and steer it in the right direction together!”

“I think you mean….” Steven giggled and crouched down, his stomach glowing a bright pink. His shield appeared suddenly by a flicker of white light on his arm, and he held it up. “.... _ bright _ direction?” 

Connie rolled her eyes but was unable to contain her laughter, gently smacking her friend on the arm. “That was terrible! I’d be impeached because my First Man’s puns are awful.”

Steven tapped his finger against his face. “Can puns cause impeachment?”

“They can when they’re  _ that _ bad, Steven.”

“They’re not bad, they’re  _ rad!” _ Steven retorted, earning another smack. He shifted slightly, allowing his shield to disappear, and lifted his finger in the air. “Besides, having a good sense of humor is important when you’re associated with the most awesome president, Ms. Maheswaran!”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want you spoiling the reputation we built for as best dynamic duo in the world.”

“The best of all the rest, up to the pests.” The Gem agreed.

Connie flashed a knowing smile at him. “I think you mean always up to the  _ test _ .”

Steven beamed and reached over, pulling his friend into a hug. “No matter what comes, we’ll do it together.” He said quietly but happily. 

Connie nodded, returning the embrace. “We’re a team. You’re my biscuit.”   
“And you’re my strawberry.”


End file.
